Friendships/Relationships

Won't you be my neighbor?

Let there be no purpose in friendship 
save the deepening of the spirit.

Khalil Gibran

Deepening of the spirit seems to be a wonderful aspect of friendship. As we (individually, collectively, nationally, globally, universally, and cosmically) continue to experience the chaos and disruption of the paradigm shift that is ushering in the Age of Aquarius, it feels (to me) that making, building, having, maintaining friendships, and solid relationships - be they deep, casual, superficial, or fleeting - is a positive thing.

Many of those who channel entities from other multidimensional frequencies, as well as those with a more “practical” historical perspective on the kinds of changes we are experiencing, suggest that there will be a dynamic shift towards more localized interactions and support. As we each, and all, rebuild our lives from this point onward, it looks very much like that rebuilding will be a bottom-up structure rather than a top-down structure.

While friendship has been on my mind a good deal of late, this “building of community” and local interactions, leads me to a further discussion of friendships and relationships.

Over the past 15, or so years, friendships, building relationships that turn into friendships, and maintaining those relationships has been a rather challenging and perplexing thing.

When I see children making friends, with seeming ease, I wonder about the adult version of that same process. Other than shared group activities, of whatever kind, and a spark of intuitive connection to one, or more people in said group, I have not found that I have been able to both make, and maintain friendships in a consistent way.

By necessity, friendships are mutual, and while I find myself being willing to reach out to others, I have not experienced the reciprocal response that would deepen any given friendship.

Today I am deciding to take a different approach to my post. I have chosen a few quotes, from various sources, on the subject of friendship and relationship. I present each, in turn, and comment on those.

Since there is nothing so well worth having 
as friends, never lose a chance to make them.

Francesco Guicciardini        (1483-1540)

Most of my life I have been able to make friends, in what seems to me to be, fairly easily. I would have to say that those friends have not always achieved a status beyond “less than casual”. A few of have become “more than casual”, and fewer still, would I consider “close friends”. Even those close friends have come and gone.

For whatever reason, maintaining friendships after a physical separation (moving to another city and/or state), has not lived up to my expectations. Is it me? Is it circumstances? Is it distractions and/or shifting commonalities? I have no idea.

As much as I have attempted to “hold up my end” of the correspondence equation, there seems to be a consistent lessening of the frequency and/or intensity of any given friendship.

This leads me to the next quote.

Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue 
that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce.
Brené Brown   (1965-present)

Brené, and the philosophy of vulnerability, has been on my radar for a few years now. While I can, and do, find that there is value in the idea of vulnerability, it is not always easy for me to reach that state with myself and/or with friends. I am wondering if I can sometimes shock others when I allow myself to express venerability, when I strive to be open to the possibilities that friendship brings.

There are many spiritual teachers that suggest that the Spiritual Journey is, of necessity, a singular experience. I have heard it suggested that many times the lack of solid friendships could be a sign that one is deep into the transformative process that is “awakening”.

Am I being too vulnerable here? Am I sharing too much? Am I reaching too far? Am I so “starved” for friendship, that I am creating a “negative energy field” that repels those who might be friends?

I am well aware that Eckhart Tolle, and others, refer to the act of “pushing things away” and/or “clinging to tightly”, and how that can impact the manifestation process.

OK. On to the next quote.

The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other 
person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?

Eugene Kennedy      (1928-2015)

A few times in my life, I have been fortunate to have this kind of friendship. It is a magical and holy space where two souls communicate in whatever way the moment brings forth. The freedom that comes from knowing that one does not have to “make conversation” is (for me) a genuine bonding experience.

These types of friendships seem to also be the ones where I can be most vulnerable, and share the deeper and more tender parts of myself, when the occasion arises.

Now we look at relationships a bit.

If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human 
relationships - the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, 
in the same world at peace.

Franklin D. Roosevelt     (1882-1945)

As we each and all find our individual and collective connection to one another, and to our loving and supportive Universe, we are returning to the values of peace, harmony, love, compassion, kindness, joy, understanding, wholeness, health, abundance for all, flexibility, balance, and so much more. It seems we are also, in ways both grand and small, coming to value relationships that foster sharing, caring, and a sense of community (be it a neighborhood, a city, a county, a state, or a wider community).

Let us open our hearts, as much as possible (in any given NOW moment) and embrace the concept of positive relationships with All Life, with ALL THAT IS. Let us value our own, and others individualized expression of our Divine Essence; our unique gifts and understandings, that can/will/do help to make up the totality of our Collective Consciousness.

Let us trust ourselves and those with whom we interact each day, to find our way through the maze of confusion, dysfunction, chaos, unkindness and fear that is attempting to distract us from our love for one another; our innate Knowing the we are each/all individualized expression of one Source. Each of us is here, in this moment of the space/time continuum, for a specific purpose, to fill a specific need, to Be the Best Being we can each Be, as we co-create a new and more harmonious world that work for us, our planet (all life on our planet), and the wider Universe and Cosmos. All is well.

Physical presence provides chemical, relational, psychological and physiological effects that virtual relationships cannot.  Our brains change in the presence of another person and their behavior.

Dr. Henry Cloud      (1956-present)

As in friendships, so also in relationships, proximity can make a difference. Being physically present with another Being (human, animal, vegetable, mineral, multidimensional, etc.) can, when we are open, receptive, willing, and non-judgmental, help the communication process. As a “tribal” species, the ability to share all the chop wood, carry water tasks that are part of each day, each week, each month, etc., is a blessing that can help “lighten the load”.

Building quality, trusting, and balanced relationships, friendships, groups, and communities can/will/does improve our lives and the lives of those with whom we interact.

May we face the coming challenges with a mindset that there is always opportunity to co-create a world we desire; we have but to have a clear vision of the wonder and beauty we are interested in living each day.

May we move with confidence, pure intention, loving kindness, and harmonious connection as we take the next step toward that which is for our Highest Good, and the Highest Good of All Creation.

All is well.